Thursday, January 12, 2012

hello, I must be going...



Friends- I know I haven't been on The Shelf in a very long time and quite frankly the doors have been shut for quite a long time. For the past year and half, this blog became a one man dog and pony show- and I had neither dog, nor pony. So for all intents and purposes, it was closed. Not on hiatus, like I kept telling myself, nor temporarily disconnected. Closed. As in shut, ended, kaput. I tried... oh yes, I tried. But in the end life beat me on this one. I have had one of the most challenging years and a half in my entire life, and although I have risen to the challenges, it was not without stress, fatigue or distraction. SO this is where I failed YOU dear friends; for I kept pretending to come back, I kept intending- in my head- to come back and pick up and run again like we used to years ago. But alas, I wasn't able to do so, and I missed it. Everytime I heard some classic film news or saw a new classic film dvd release- I thought of you. I wanted to write about the goings on, the new discoveries and old aquainences, but I was too overwhelmed. In fact, I think overwhelmed describes myself perfectly to a "T".

But I let things stay up on the webpage. I kept visiting old friends and keeping up with their blogs and realized- "they don't need me anyway. Look at all this great stuff out there." It was few and far between when we started, kiddos, but the blogosphere has done us proud with many sources of information and discussion about classic film. So I didn't worry- I just missed it and I missed all of you. But with the start of this year, I realized now, more than ever, I have to let go. No, no "Titanic Jack and Rose" go; but simply let go of this thing that in many ways, was already gone. I've put off an official "sign-off" post, simply because I didn't want to let go...

But here is the thing I've learned in the past couple of years... sometimes letting go of what ultimately you can't control, but then holding on to what really matters is what allows us to progress. It helps us, as human beings, to be able to move on in the seasons of life. It serves no purpose to stand in the middle of winter, clutching the dried grasses of summer wondering "why?" Summer will come again- everything in life is a cycle. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be back, under my real moniker, instead of this nome-de-plume that I've come to identify with, and better than ever. Or then, I may have moved on to the new technology of the future of hologram blogging....or something. Either way, painfully, I have to let go of the Shelf. For now, I need to let go and concentrate on family and other things that need me, and not have a part of me glance backward, feeling guilty and lost.

It really doesn't matter- most of you have been long gone and figured out the obvious, but I appreciate closure. I appreciate bookends. I have plenty of fond memories and favorite posts in between those bookends, but one really needs a set to help keep them together. So that is what this is- the other bookend in the set, the final chapter, or (to be really cheesy) the official sign-off. For now I will leave this up for a while longer- not as a memorial, but so I can still have the links of my friends handy til I can make a nice little link list somewhere else, but also to communicate with any of you who might leave a note over the next little while.

I am grateful for all of you. I wish I could sit here and name all the wonderful blogging friends and readers who have supported me and nutured me over the years, but you could take a glance over at the Shelf Community list on the sidebar and go visit these wonderful people yourself. If you happen to read this- thank you. I appreciate everything. In the words of the very first post - slightly altered to fit the occasion (I told you I like bookends),: "After all these years, you've come to expect randomness, musings, reviews, and context. This was just for me to get things off my chest and out there. Thanks for stopping by, and don't forget your coat on your way out." I've got my coat. Will you get the lights? Why- hello, I must be going....


Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Hello, I must be going.

11 comments:

Laura said...

Hi JC!!

I was just thinking of you the other day and how long it had been...was going to drop you an email early in this New Year to say hello! Have really missed you and your blogging but knew this was a very busy time for you with a lot on your plate.

You and your blog have been and will be very much missed...I periodically check back here on the chance of something new, like today! The Shelf was one of my earliest classic film blogging inspirations, especially as I gradually moved from "miscellaneous" blogging to focusing on classic films. In fact, The Shelf is the very first link on my classic film blogroll. :)

Perhaps there will be a time in the future when you can return to the blogosphere in a new format or something. The seasons of life tend to ebb and flow...

Please stay in touch as you are able!!

In appreciation and friendship,
Laura

lauraproof@aol.com

Retro Hound said...

"Here's your hat, what's your hurry?" Well, too bad I really found you all just as you were winding down.

In 2008, right after I started RetroHound.com, it was the worst year of my life, personally and professionally, and I've had a few stressful years after that. Luckily I mostly post pictures rather than essays, so I was able to keep going. Sometimes I kept going out of defiance to my circumstances, but I certainly understand the need to put the real world ahead of the blog.

Feel free to drop by any time, and if you start anything again, let me know. Good luck and God bless.

J.C. Loophole said...

Laura-
My dear friend, I can't thank you enough for all your support, comraderie, wonderful writing and inspiration. More than anything I've enjoyed the many comments and emails over the years- I am glad to say that I've been able several great "blogging buddies" - and you were there from almost the beginning. Even during this past year or so -I've been visiting Musings often as my way of staying in the loop. I will email you soon and bring you up to speed and will definitely stay in touch. I am hoping something in the future will develop- we'll see, but if I do- you will be one of the first to know- promise!

J.C. Loophole said...

Retro hound-
Thanks so much for that and for your support! I was a lurker for about 2 days at your site and then realized you had to be on the regular blogroll for sure. I hope you will keep it up yourself- especially so I can visit often. If we do make it back- it would be in a different form. If that happens I will definitely drop you a line.
Thanks again!

mel said...

After hearing from you at Chistmastime, J.C., I was saddened at the news of your decision.

I miss you already...

I will keep in touch.

All the best,
Mel

Jacqueline T Lynch said...

You have been missed, Friend. Thanks for taking that last moment to wave from the train window. We'll all be here waiting on platform if you come back this way again. Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

Ah, JC. Its a sad day. Indeed. But I wish you well in your other endevours and stuff. Hope all the loopholes are good.

matt

J.C. Loophole said...

Thanks Mel- and I very much appreciated the email this Christmas- I always look forward to hearing from you and am glad we will keep in touch. If something changes and I find myself back in another format or somewhere else, I will hastily email you!

J.C. Loophole said...

Jacqueline-
Thank you so much- and thank you for your continued friendship and support. One of the things that made me so reluctant to do this was the fear that I would lose contact with great fellow blogger and writers, like yourself, that had became more like friends to me. Even though I visited Another Old Movie Blog and Laura's Misc Musings, and more every week when I could, I never really commented much. I will still be reading and visiting often, and so I think for now I will try to stay in touch that way and say hello or throw in my two cents. When some time passes, I am toying around with coming back in a different way- more like I have been envisioning over the years. Thanks again, I will see you over at your place!

J.C. Loophole said...

Matt-
The Loopholes are doing well- things have been crazy. I will email you soon to catch you up. I should have given you a heads up the last time we "email" chatted, but wasn't sure then. Will talk soon.

J.C. Loophole said...

By the way- I would like to mention one other thing. I debated whether or not to share this, but I will: having a family member with a terminal illness and time with family has prompted this moment in shutting things down. I would like to add this one last thing and encourage anyone reading to consider donating to the American Cancer Society- especially donating your time if possible. Lots of families, lots of children and spouses can benefit from your support and efforts. Thank you.

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